Today my ex embarks on the next chapter of his life, and whilst I'm terribly sad that its without me... I know its going to be the most amazing and exciting time for him.
And so this post is to thank him for the wonderful years we spent together. You taught me so much, you helped me grow as a person... and I will never forget you for that.
When we met I was this little ball of anger, the slightest thing would tip me over the edge and I would throw things at you, and slam doors and just horrible really. Hey, remember that time I threw a fork at you?! I couldn't imagine doing that now. I'm still not sure how we got through those first couple of years together!
I was a spoilt little girl, I expected you to do everything for me, but I soon learnt that wasn't going to happen. And yes I will still pout occasionally when things don't go my way, but I don't throw the hissy fits like I used to. You taught me that wouldn't swing in the real world.
You were with me when I got sick, and held my hand when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. You told me that I would be able to beat it, and you learnt to recognise the signs that meant I was overdoing it, and you would make me stop and rest.
You taught me to love myself. I know I was in constant need of reassurance of your love, but you have no idea how much that helped me. You told me I was beautiful, that I could do anything I put my mind to... and I believed you. You built my self confidence up to the point that I am sitting here, after 7 months on my own saying... "Hey, you know what? I can do this. I really truly can do this by myself."
Above all you loved me. And I know in a way you still do and you always will. Just like I will always love you. I was never angry at you for the way things ended, I was disapointed and upset, I was angry at someone else for forcing it to happen... but that wasn't you.
So thank you for the wonderful memories of the past 6 years, thank you for being the rock I leant upon when things got rough and thank you for being you. You are amazing, you are awesome, and you have great things to accomplish. I will always be here for you should you need me, and if things are meant to be then we will find each other again one day.
But for now its time to close this chapter, and carry on with our adventures seperately.
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Sadly still no pictures yet! But I have moved! My new place is lush, I'm able to sleep without ear plugs. Even though I'm right in the centre of town, my bedroom is at the back and I hear nothing until 8am when the church bells wake me (my flat is owned by the church!). I don't have internet yet, but hopefully next week it will appear. I am incredibly warm, central heating is AMAZING!!!! And the bath is nice too. I have a gorgeous view over the rooftops from my living room window, and I'll share pictures once I'm up and running. So I'm happy, warm, and things are looking good in all ways! Thanks again to everyone for their love, support and good thoughts, and to my wonderful friends who helped me move - I apologise again for the amount of stairs! Elle xxx
Friday, 11 May 2012
No pictures as this is just a quick life update.
Here's to a bright and happy future to us all!
PS: Have some hugs! HUGS!!!!!!
- This weekend = Centre Parcs with the parental unit. I've been twice before the unit have not. I will be going to the spa for 3 hours, having a paraffin wax hand treatment, doing the lavender relaxation class I did last year, playing ten pin bowling and then having a family photoshoot (as the only recent family picture has the ex in it).
- Monday = getting the keys to my new flat! YAY! It has central heating, hot water on demand (so I can have a proper bath!), and no upstairs elephants as I am the top floor! I'll be right in the centre of town too, which is ideal for going to work!
Here's to a bright and happy future to us all!
PS: Have some hugs! HUGS!!!!!!
Saturday, 5 May 2012
Just a quick post today to show off bargain balls #2. In 3x1 rib again, with a 48 cast on using 3mm needles.
I might try a different texture on the next pair, although I quite enjoy the mindless knitting at the moment with everything thats going on!
I'll be more interesting again soon, promise!
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
|Raglan Castle in the rain|
Fair warning. This is a picture heavy post!
Wonderwool Wales 2012! Three words: rain, cold, wind. Three more words: awesome, amazing, fantastic.
Normally I don't put all those words together. But I am. Even though the weather was hideous, and I was camping (second time in my life ever - the first time I camped it was with my school in year 8, and I fractured my finger, kind of put me off!), and I was constantly cold... I had a wicked awesome time.
|Remember this fresh faced happy look!|
The loverly Helen drove Paula and I to Wonderwool (held at the Royal Welsh Showground), and the journey went quite smoothly, with the rain there wasn't much traffic about. We passed Raglan Castle, fields full of sheep, and went around so many windy roads! I love Wales, its so beautiful.
We arrived at the showground, and found the huge tent that Debs was lending us for the night. Seriously, it was huge. When the other Helen popped up her tent next to ours... it was funny. Her tent was sooo tiny, I think she had to lay down and lay in to it! Our tent had a living room sized area, plus two bedrooms! And a porch! Debs and Bry had their own tent, and had arrived the night before and put both tents up. Massive thanks to them (and more puppy snorgles!).
After getting everything sorted in the tent we wandered up to the cattle sheds where the show is held, trying to be brave against the cold wind. At least it wasn't raining!
The first day involved running around and talking to people. And buying. I did most of my buying on the Saturday, and I'm glad I did as on Sunday I was soo cold I wasn't properly focused.
I was at this point starting to get very very cold, and wishing I'd thought ahead and bought some fingerless gloves with me! But the utterly adorable Claire saved the day and lent me a pair of hers. Thank you so much Claire!!!
We went to sit down for lunch and Debs and Bry brought the puppies with them... and how can you be worried being cold when this gorgeous (but angry looking!!!) face is staring at you?!?!
|Dexter puppy!!! *snorgles*|
Paula and I tried out some spinning wheels, she went for the Ladybug (which is still my dream wheel and one day I will own!!!), and I tried out the Matchless. It was quite heavy to get started on the treadles, and it kept going backwards, but once I got the rhythm it was a fantastic wheel. Too big and heavy for me though, but it did spin beautifully. Whilst there another Helen threw her arms around me! YAY for Helens! It was good to see her again :)
When we were tired we retired to the tent, but then I had to go out again to borrow Sam's cooker in her campervan to heat up and consume my food. It was nice to get warm with her heating :)
Everyone went to dinner in a pub that night, but I was overwhelmed and needed to be quiet, so other Helen with the baby tent stayed with me. We spent the evening chatting about so much, and I thank you for keeping me company! You are lovely :)
Sleep didn't happen very much for any of us. Despite wearing thermal leggings, normal leggings and my pj bottoms, my thermal top, my pj top and a hoodie, Claire's fingerless gloves and a shawl I spun the yarn for (alpaca and merino), being slipped inside a duvet like sleeping bag with a blanket on top... I was still freezing cold. I read for hours on my iPhone kindle app (Diva's Don't Knit for anyone who is interested!), and must have dropped off between 1am and 2am, and then woke up about 5am when the rain started.
I was awake until 6:30 when I heard Helen and Paula brave the cold to run to the toilet block, and then I was out of it until 8am when I woke up with a start, convinced it must be about 11am haha!
|Remember the happy face from before?!?!|
We all got up, and helped to break the tents down. I looked after puppies to keep them out of the way I did feel a little useless as I've never had to take down a tent before (the school camping trip was over a week, each class had a different day so the tents were always up), but Helen said I wasn't. Thanks Helen!
We walked very very quickly up to the cattle sheds again, as it was still raining, and this time I was wearing so many layers. Let me list them for you:
- Bottom half: thermal leggings, two pairs of normal leggings, pj bottoms, skirt, two pairs of handknit thick socks, Doctor Marten boots
- Top half: thermal long sleeves top, long sleeved top, vest top, pj top, B-Side Cardigan, hoodie, Triangular Triangles shawl
|Yes... that is what you are seeing!|
I'm sure this woman was incredibly warm in her crocheted fun fur coat and matching hat. I give her a round of applause for wearing this outfit, there were many comments (not all good), but if it makes her happy... who are we to judge?!?! Also in the picture is Helen's scotch egg.
We left quite early really on the Sunday, around 3:30 (it closed at 4:30). I know if it had been good weather we would have still been there until the end, but it was too cold, and there weren't many people left.
The journey home was a little more eventful, with Helen's car tyres yelling that they needed air. The first garage we came to was under water. Seriously looked like a lake! The second was closed. The third was open, and it turns out the tyres were just cold, so we didn't really need to worry.
I fell asleep at one point, which wasn't surprising from the lack of sleep! It was a good nap :D
As we came into Bradford-On-Avon there was a faint but beautiful rainbow. I love rainbows!
And here is my haul from the weekend:
|From Wingham Woolworks - stock for my etsy store|
|From the top (clockwise) - Freyalyn Fibre, Wingham, Sparkleduck, and the rest from Hilltopcloud|
|My gorgeous new spindle (spalted beech on sycamore with an ash shaft,) fibre from Freyalyn|
|Sparkleduck self striping sock yarn, EasyKnits sparkle sock yarn, Laalbear glitter ball, and a Laalbear orifice hook|
|Wonderwool Bag - proceeds to the Welsh Air Ambulance|
I spent yesterday morning in bed, I got up at midday! I am in alot of fibro pain, and I think I have a cold... but I would totally do it again. Camping too!